dyslexic

“Clay Cousins is an organizational change leader and visionary entrepreneur. He uses his distinctive facilitation style and collaborative model in leadership coaching to support individuals and organizations in reframing their perspectives to effect sustainable change. Clay’s abilities to connect seemingly unrelated ideas and identify innovative solutions have been shaped by his dyslexia, which was identified in early childhood. This out-of-the-box thinking and his natural ability to build and maintain relationships have emerged as his greatest strengths.”

Clay agreed to share his story with the Headstrong Nation community. Because of dyslexia, his early years in school were difficult, intensifying in college. However, the challenges he experienced as a student helped him to discover the skills and strengths that he relies on as an entrepreneur today. Clay uses this unique experience to assist businesses and individuals in reaching their full potential.

I Thought I Was Doing Great

My parents were initially made aware that I was not reading at grade level in the second grade. I was placed in a remedial reading class. Since I had no reference point to identify how I was supposed to be reading, I personally didn’t see a problem and thought I was doing great. However, in the fourth grade I was formally diagnosed with dyslexia.

I’ve always had a huge thirst for knowledge, and thought I was moving forward in school. However, I was receiving feedback from my parents and teachers that I wasn’t quite making it. Elementary school was a confusing time for me. I came to the conclusion that the formality of school didn’t inspire me and seemed to hold me back creatively.

One of my outlets during this period was Physical Education – but not the typical PE class. The PE teacher was really ahead of the curve and had created an indoor ropes course in our school. I had two friends at the time who also had an interest in the ropes course. (It turns out that they too had dyslexia.) The PE teacher allowed the three of us to come in and set up the ropes course during the week and even on weekends. The course and other activities in the gym allowed us to escape the day-to-day stress of the classroom. This PE teacher influenced many of my choices during my elementary school years.

My Special Education resource teacher was also a strong advocate for me in elementary school. However, because of their lack of understanding of dyslexia, many of my other teachers were not very helpful. I believe they were very invested in trying to help me, but often said to me, “You need to try harder and focus more.” I wanted to reply, “You don’t know how hard I AM focusing;” but, I didn’t have the language or ability to share with them what I was experiencing.

Hitting the wall in middle school.

By middle school, the only aspect of school that I enjoyed was socializing. I enjoyed the process of learning but I wasn't able to demonstrate what I knew, so I checked out more and more. However, I did have advocates. My parents attended all my annual IEP meetings and always asked questions.

During one meeting, while reviewing my IEP, my mother noticed that another child’s name was used throughout the document, although my name was on the cover. It was apparent to her that no one was reading, much less implementing the plan. She confronted the IEP team about this and threatened to sue the school because they weren’t providing me with the appropriate resources. The school agreed to reimburse my parents for all the outside tutors they had hired to help me stay at grade level. I actually only learned of this about five years ago.


It is interesting talking with my mother now. I’ve learned that back then, it was a difficult period for her because nobody had any answers as to how to help me learn and she couldn't relate to what I was going through. She tried to find tutors who could help me. I struggled with the tutoring. They used different methods than the school’s approach, but it still wasn't effective for me. I wasn’t confident that I was making any progress. The one bright spot that was emerging, with some help and observations from my father, was my self-awareness. Through this self-awareness, I was able to start advocating for myself.

Working the System in High School

When I moved onto high school, my mom was worried about what I would do, how I would manage. I didn’t think anything of it. Since academics were hard for me and I wanted to graduate, I looked for alternatives to the traditional school day and realized the school was made up of systems.

I figured out how to work the system to my benefit. I knew my weaknesses were reading and writing. I was decent in math, if I had the right teacher. I creatively scheduled my courses to include study hall in the resource room. There I got much of my homework done using the school’s tools to my advantage. I used my social skills to get what I needed from the resource teachers. My needs appeared minimal compared to the more severe disabilities they had to deal with.

My greatest challenge in high school was my friends. They were a relatively intellectual group. Because I compared myself to them and wasn’t performing at their level, I bought into the idea that I wasn’t very smart, since I wasn’t performing at their academic level. They were accepted to college with scholarships in programs that I felt I could never attain. That was my mindset

.

College Bound

My parents were adamant that I go to college because they believed I had the ability and could succeed. (They also believed that I would always regret it if I didn’t try.)

I was accepted to the University of Northern Colorado in Greeley. They had a very good program and an understanding of dyslexia, so I received support there. Despite the resources available, college was very difficult for me. Up to this point, I had intentionally worked hard to get out of doing much of what was required of me in school (by working the system).

On top of this, I didn’t know what to major in; what I wanted to do for a career. I barely made it through the first semester and wondered why I stuck with it. I had a better attitude the second semester, however. Ireached out to one of my professors in recreation management to discuss this field and she helped me to set up an appointment with an advisor to explore what the program offered.

On the weekends, I hung out with my high school friends who were attending Colorado State University (CSU) in Fort Collins. I shared this information with them and they encouraged me to transfer to CSU.

In my second year, at CSU, I decided that I wanted to do more than survive, so I put all my effort into it. I was gaining confidence, knew I was smart enough to succeed, and pushed myself to do the best that I could.

However, I once again experienced a lack of understanding of the accommodations needed for one with dyslexia. While the University recognized my need for more time on projects and/or tests, professors did not, resulting discouragement rather than support. I resorted to what worked for me: working the system using my inherent skills.

I realized that I had strengths that I could use to my advantage in the classroom. I was an auditory learner, and had good negotiation skills. I rarely missed class, as listening to lectures was something that I could do easily to learn information. I had good presentation skills that enabled me to obtain high grades in group projects. This balanced out the lower grades I may have received on multiple choice or written exams.

I met with each of my professors to introduce myself and to discuss my disability and abilities. Once I shared the accommodations essential to my success in college (a list from the college’s office of disability programs) they were more than happy to help me achieve my goal: a college degree.

Reading was difficult for me and the resources were few and outdated. The disability office was stretched thin, with staff helping students with many types of disabilities. Although they did want to help, I found that many of their resources didn’t really work well for me. I had difficulty finding my rhythm. However, I realized over time that I am pretty high functioning, so I believe I developed strategies drawing on talents I didn’t even know I had.

I have to admit that I was kind of disillusioned in college. My major wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be, and I had felt like I was not going to pursue a career in it. However, I realized the value in getting a college degree, and I did learn important life skills. They have helped me hone my social and interpersonal skills, which I use in my work today.


Early Career – Finding my way and understanding my strengths

During college and after, I worked at a ski shop renting equipment. I was later offered a position as a snowboard buyer and assistant manager. My transition from college to work was a pleasant one in comparison to that of my friends who had difficulty finding work after college.

Then, I started looking around for different career opportunities, but I wasn’t sure of what I wanted to do. The area I had majored in (Recreation, Natural Resources and Tourism) no longer interested me. I saw a myriad of other possibilities, which is both a strength and curse of mine: too many choices and not idea how to choose one.

I got a few leads and ventured into construction, then the oil and gas industry. Through these, I discovered my greatest asset: big-picture thinking. This enabled me to objectively see and evaluate the needs of business owners: what was working, what was not and what they might do differently to be more successful. Although, the jobs were temporary, and not very satisfying, they were the start of my self-journey.

In these positions, I was given very diverse responsibilities: act as liaison between departments, manage PR events and other projects, coach department heads in change management. Because of the variety of tasks and my unconventional approach to achieving the desired outcomes, it was difficult to measure my value through established metrics.

These various responsibilities helped me to see what I was good at, what my true strengths were, and how I might leverage these strengths in a different way. I realized that I was very intelligent (I just expressed it differently) and I understood how to connect with people. These experiences gave me an understanding of my skill sets and placed me on a new trajectory.


I Started my Own Business - Changing the Status Quo

I took the plunge and started a consulting business with my wife and life partner. We focus on Coaching, Group Facilitation, and HR advisory work (my wife’s specialty). Our whole business is built on developing self-awareness and mindset. This is a natural outcome of the work that I had to do around my own self-awareness.

A message that I’d like to share with others with dyslexia is that just because the past may have been filled with negative experiences, it doesn’t mean the future has to be the same. The status quo can be changed and this awareness opens up a whole new world of possibilities.

If I believe in the status quo: that I have to read a book in a certain amount of time, then write a report on it, I feel like a failure from the get go. But if I can listen to a book and present my knowledge of the material in another way, then I have accomplished the same goal. If you carry this book analogy into your personal and business life you can open up all sorts of possibilities, increasing your level of success.

The thought of unlimited possibilities really gets me fired up! Looking at work through the lens of “This is how we’ve always done it” can be very limiting. I would hear this a lot in the corporate world. Many limiting beliefs and ultimately processes and can be improved. It’s important to understand why things work. If they don’t work, you have an opportunity to innovate. I look for that deeper meaning and that’s what excites me.

Another thing that excites me is being able to give people the language and tools to recognize and maximize their abilities. I’ve seen people stuck in a role that was defined for them. They think they are limited by that definition. Helping people understand that there is “transferability” of their skill sets across industries is a really exciting part of my role as coach. I thrive on giving people the tools and ability to develop their inherent leadership skills to guide others. In this way you can model leadership to others on many levels and help change outcomes.

I believe we are seeing an exciting entrepreneurial movement and this is inspiring! People are rethinking their current situation, assessing their strengths, and moving forward boldly and creatively. However, one does not have to be an entrepreneur to realize one’s potential. In addition to having a positive mindset, resilence, and authenticity, possessing an understanding of one's strengths, and how to best use them, will help a person to achieve any goals he sets for himself.

CLAY’S COMPANY INFO:

Websites

www.rdigrp.com

www.launchingideas.co

www.elevatemomentum.com

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Launching Ideas

Elevate Momentum

Twitter

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Elevate Momentum


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Marie Fostino Facebook profile photo dressed in purple with feather  band in her hair


Early Years

I found school to be very hard. I didn’t get good grades. I would read the work that was given to me, but not really understand what I was reading. When I was in high school my grades were C’s and D’s. I would try so hard to study and memorize but it was a waste of time, I would not remember. In fact, it took me three times taking my history class before I passed it. Of course it didn’t help that I was not interested in that class at the time. But you can’t pass high school without history class. Doing so made me miss my graduation. I passed high school in summer school of my last year. And being the oldest of my siblings I really embarrassed my mother. She never saw me graduate. When I got married she told my husband-to-be that I was “special” and to have patience with me, meaning I was sort of stupid or semi-retarded or something.

Higher Education with a Desire to Help Others

I became a beautician and had a talent for fixing hair. My only problem was charging people. I didn’t have the heart to charge like everyone else so I was pretty cheap. I lived in Norman, Oklahoma when the when the Oklahoma City bombing happened. I drove to the site to help the wounded but was turned away from the National Guard since I didn’t have any credentials proving I was in the medical field. I cried so hard. It was then I had the idea that I needed to go back to school. I initially fought the idea. I remember how hard school was and told myself I would never go back to school again.


Marie Fostino Paramedic Class Group Shot of Marie and Classmates


I really think God was calling me to go back and I fought with this idea for a few weeks before I finally gave in. I chose to study to become a Paramedic. When I was in my EMT class and took one of my tests, I questioned the teacher as to why she was asking questions about “police” on our tests. She had me read the questions to her and then corrected me that the word was “policies”, not police. She asked me if I was dyslexic. I had no idea what she was talking about. Well it happened to be, that she was dyslexic and she saw the signs in me that she once had. She made an appointment for me to see her doctor.


When I found out I was dyslexic, they had me read with many overlays until I found one that would calm my mind. That was really all that happened. They may have told me that I needed to see another doctor, but, if they did, I didn’t pursue it anymore. I already knew I had trouble learning, and I had five children at home which I was responsible for, and I was working at the beauty shop, had a husband, and I didn’t have any more time in the day for anything else nor the money to put down.

NOTE: In a literature study of the efficacy of colored overlays in the dyslexic, authors Arcangelo Uccula, Mauro Enna, and Claudio Mulatti, found that the use of colored overlays as a remedy for difficulties in reading experienced by the dyslexic individuals as controversial - http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00833/, and that American Academy of Pediatrics has claimed that there is not empirical evidence toward the efficacy of colored overlays in reading, reading acquisition, or dyslexia, and did not recommend their use. However, this is what Marie used as a tool so we share this within the context of her story. - HSN


Marie Fostino with Diploma

“I lived so many years thinking I was stupid.”

I lived so many years thinking I was stupid, so I decided that I had to find a way to help me learn. So when I went to paramedic school, I actually lived at Denny’s Restaurant. For that year or a little longer, I went to work and school and studied. I missed my kids, because I was not home, but I already knew how hard it was for me to learn and I had to just concentrate. I would read, and write down what I read, and highlighted what I was reading and then I would make myself tests to take. You have no idea how many hours I spent trying to learn all the information. When we finished and was supposed to graduate, my teacher had me stay after by myself and he had me go through many scenarios, and what I would do for the patient, before he would pass me. When I took my National Registry Test, and I walked in with my green overlay, the inspectors all took turns looking at my green overlay to make sure I wasn’t cheating.

I know that I need a light green overlay to help me read, settle down my mind and keep the words from moving so I can understand what I am reading. I was astonished to find out that I actually had a learning difference and I wasn’t just stupid or special like my mom would say.


Marie Fostino standing in front of Ambulance


Dyslexia on the Job

I became a paramedic and the dyslexia really didn’t bother me since I was doing hands-on skills. My partner did the driving, and I was responsible for patient care. However, when I changed jobs and was required to work on a computer looking at social security cards and entering these numbers in the computer, I found I had trouble. After I mixed up a couple of numbers a few times my boss put me on a performance improvement plan and I was not allowed to work on the computer. I became scared because I had looked at these numbers at least three times and didn’t notice that I had mixed them up. I felt like I was experiencing dementia or Alzheimer’s. My boss told me I had to get a medical evaluation/diagnosis for my dyslexia. The hard part about this was that the doctors I was looking for, worked with children, not a 61year-old woman.


Marie Fostino with Grand kids in ambulance


I found that I had to leave that job and stay away from working with a computer for work. To work for a company where I can mess things up because of mixing up numbers or letters, that kind of job is not for me. I found a new job. I am now working at a behavioral center with adults that have drug and alcohol problems. I can use my paramedic skills as I triage these people, and help them get the treatment they need, whether it is letting them sit while they are coming down from the liquor or drugs, or having them go into the back for treatment with our nurses or calling 911. I became a paramedic to help people so even though I am not on an ambulance now I feel like I am still helping people.

Marie Fostino in standing by her ambulance holding the first book she wrote Marie Fostino with Family group shot Thanksgiving 2014


I also write books and have an editor that catches my mistakes. At the age of 61, I feel like I have learned to live with my learning disability and I am not going to go for any more testing. It would be a good thing for the young to get tested and help for this disability, but it won’t do anything to help me now. Hobbies, Passions, and Strengths My kids and grandkids are my life. For the longest time my hobby was photography. I entered many contests and won or placed in few. The last few years I have been writing books. It is not the easiest but I enjoy it. When I would look at my work, I think, boy did I do a great job. But then I would give it to my editor and when I got it back to make corrections, I would be amazed at how much I mixed up.

Feel free to check out my books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I’m on Facebook too.


Many thanks to Marie for sharing her story with us!


Uccula A, Enna M and Mulatti C (2014) Colors, colored overlays, and reading skills. Front. Psychol. 5:833. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00833 -http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00833/full

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Originally published November 23, 2015 on MariauxArt.com

stylized painting of Mariaux Art and dyslexia logo

I loved books, I loved stories and I wanted to read—I just couldn’t read like other kids. I worked so hard to read that I lost the meaning of what I was trying to read. My book larva gnawed away at me while sat there stuck in an easy-reader—even when others had put their books away—I still labored over words.

Normal readers had a cute little bookworm friend that had little round glasses that were too big for its pudgy little face. It had a nerdy, feeble but kind warble in its voice that politely reminded them to, “read more books.” My bookworm was more like botfly larva. It bored into my head the significance of reading and every time I tried to read, it fed off my delicious inadequacies and bore deep into my sub-conscience that, “books aren’t meant for you.” The teachers said my only cure was to, “read more books.” In those days, no one knew I was dyslexic, but they did recognize that I had a different learning style

I was outwardly intelligent, social, and likable. Eventually I was labeled, “unteachable”—” lazy”—” unmotivated.” I struggled with reading in first grade. In second grade it became apparent that I had a learning disability. Third grade, I hit a wall. The school wanted to send me to a mobile home that sat on the school grounds. I’d sit with a teacher and a few severely disabled children. There was no help for me, and the environment was devastating to my self-esteem. My mom took me out of school and homeschooled me. My parents had no money, and no other educational alternative.

My homeschool years were hardly perfect, but they were liberating years for me. I spent a great deal of my time outdoors. We lived on five wooded acres in the rural countryside of Missouri. I was sure I was going to become an artist someday. I painted pictures, wrote short stories and plays. My mom read me book after book—all the classics. When she wasn’t reading, I was listening to the BBC book of the week on the radio. My little brother and I would lay on the floor and listen. I often drew pictures, painted and colored while listening to books. We were ear reading. Our ability to comprehend was phenomenal. I didn’t feel my limitations, I only felt that all was possible in my isolated world of Narnia, The Hiding Place, Lord of The Rings, Great Expectations, Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry—my little brother, and my loving and supportive parents.

Eventually, I was put into a small school in our church. My parents were open to trying other options and they were always hopeful that something would work. My little brother and I were publicly humiliated (my brother was physically disciplined) by our teachers. They didn’t know about our dyslexia and neither did we. We took the licks and just assumed we were the problem. This was a big burden for small backs. Back then humiliation was a tactic used to motivate. The educators in this school simply believed we weren’t trying. Try as we might, we just didn’t fit. We were abruptly taken out of this school and homeschooled again. My mom wasn’t a teacher and never intended to be. She did her very best. She inspired me—helped me keep my chin up. Only now do I understand her full-time dedication.

After taking an independent drivers education course, I decided I wanted to try and go back to school. I wanted to be around my peers—normal kids. I felt like I was missing out on the world. I was curious and very naive. I went into public high school my sophomore year. I struggled and failed. The shame I felt was unbearable, but I kept a poker face and most of my friends never knew my struggles. At first, teachers looked at me to be a nice addition in their classroom. I was very bright, forthcoming and effervescent about my willingness to learn. I sat in the front row and made eye contact. “Teach me—I want to learn.” I let them all down. Worksheets got the better of me as did and timed testing. The daily anxiety was a shock to my senses. One by one, each teacher stopped making eye contact with me. They looked through me, and I knew they had given up on me. While on my way to the place where the “D” word goes, I slid through the cracks and into a horrible gray world that whispered, “you’re nothing. Why even try? You’ll let them all down. You’ll let yourself down. You’re not normal, you’re not kidding anyone.”

Painting by Mary Harnetiaux - War in her Bloody Shoes - Woman

The day I left school for good, I was told by my guidance counselor that, “school wasn’t for everyone.” I believed him. I always took his final words as a warning to stay away. I was an impostor who was trying to steal an education, an education that belonged to the “normal kids.” It was a relief to finally walk away from it all.

I have always carried my ignorance like a bag of stones around my neck, hidden under my clothes, disguised by my outward appearance and layered beneath my god given talents. In school I suffered—horribly. No teacher proved me wrong. No one teacher became my hero or my mentor. My profound and confusing ignorance was never refuted—so it must be true. I presented a problem, and they had no solution. The “experts” didn’t even have a solution.

Even though there wasn’t any help for me back in those days, I still took solace in the possibility of a small identity, a word that kept me from taking it all into my inner-self. That word was, “dyslexia.” It was a word that was merely said to me in passing, but I intuitively latched onto it. Here’s why the word dyslexia was so important to me, it became a “thing” it wasn’t me. It wasn’t my fault. It was this thing and it had a name. Once I had a name, I was able to begin to pull the shame away from myself—I pulled it right out my chest like a ball of unraveling kite string. It was in this way that I attempted to bury my school years and move forward with my life.

I discovered myself, my hidden secret talents that I had always had—sort of like Dorothy and her ruby slippers. I began to focus on my life and not my struggle. I started painting, and through a lot of incredibly hard work, my surroundings filled with large scale abstract paintings. I found my joy and creativity. I didn’t know or care how my work would be perceived. I didn’t ask for permission. I focused on one thing, and that was my art.

My paintings eventually reached a man I had known for years, and it brought him home from his world travels. We got married. We had a little boy. Little did I know that I was going to have to unearth my dyslexia and my painful school years all over again—only this time through my son’s educational experiences.

Thirty-four years after hitting my own academic wall, I found myself advocating for my son. There I was, sitting in a blue plastic child-sized chair in front of two educators who were were trying to decide if they believed dyslexia even existed. As they sputtered and groped to use any word other than dyslexia, a curious thing happened—I began to disappear. First I couldn’t see my hands, then I watched my lap go up in a thin veil of vapor. I believe for a moment that I was only a pair of blinking eyes. No one noticed, but I almost disappeared into that place where the “D” word goes—that place that exists in all teacher’s lounges—that secret place all “unknowns” and “unteachables” go. I went into the dark locker of library-silent oblivion and neglect. Luckily for me, I had done my homework. I had a great deal of science, evidence and over thirty years of research to back my position. I also carried with me, a formal dyslexia diagnosis. Almost as quickly as I had disappeared, I returned to my tiny seat in front of two very serious educators who seemed oddly threatened that I might know something that they did not.

Red-faced and flustered, they spoke without relevance, “look at you! You’re fine! You had an LD and turned out okay! What are you worried about?” Unfiltered myths and misinformation came flowing out of their mouths, “we don’t hear that word nowadays, they diagnose better now.” I realized they only knew dyslexia to be a term they shouldn’t use, but they didn’t know what it was. They would never admit that. You see, by admitting that they didn’t know something, they would inevitably disappear into a thin veil of vapor starting with their fingertips until nothing would be left but their blinking eyes. If they admitted they didn’t know something, they would lose their power. They would never want to be in that vulnerable position—because truth be told, losing one’s power is painful. It’s damning. It’s demeaning. It’s dark. They wouldn’t like this.

Not long into my son’s fourth grade year, there came this soft suggestion, “maybe this school isn’t the right fit for your child.” They were right, it wasn’t. We pursued other possibilities.

I didn’t know quite what to do, but promised myself that my child’s dyslexia story would not be mine. I promised myself that his story wouldn’t have unnecessary sadness, or soul crushing adversity when it came to his education. I promised to find the teachers who knew that dyslexia is real—who would see him—and teach him.

One cold January morning, I lead my son up to a new pair of double doors. He anxiously opened one and hesitated in the doorway. Then, I watched him bravely step over a threshold and into a story of his own.

Read Mary’s personal blog and view her beautiful and inspiring art at MariauxArt.com.

Headstrong Nation Mission Statement - Headstrong Nation is a movement dedicated to a radical new approach to dyslexia. We empower adult dyslexics to own their dyslexia, to understand it, and to develop new ways of learning and working based on their individual profiles.

We would like to invite you to join us as a member, as we need your support to help us to fulfill our mission for the adult dyslexic. Please consider donating to Headstrong Nation HERE: https://www.razoo.com/us/story/Headstrong-Nation. Please like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter and Pinterest and visit our YouTube Channel. Thank you very much! - The Headstrong Nation Team

photo of a wrapped gift with snowflake wrapping paper and a blue bow on top

The Gifts inside us. They’ve always been there.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gifts.

We give them. We receive them. We are able to identify the unique gifts in others. We often have a more difficult time identifying them in ourselves.

Why?

Many adult dyslexics have grown up feeling misunderstood, unsupported, and overwhelmed. We’ve felt shame, anger, anxiety, depression and confusion.

We have layers. Years of overcompensating, trying to fit in, treading water, spinning our wheels. We’ve spend a lot of time looking outside of ourselves for answers, for clarity, for validation, and for change. Perhaps we’ve looked in the wrong places.

We need only pause and begin to look within to find the answers which we are looking for.

Dyslexia is a trait. It’s not a gift, nor is it a curse. It is what it is.

Whether you are dyslexic or not, you possess gifts.

Take the time to unwrap them. You’ll be surprised!

Happy Holidays from Headstrong Nation!

PS: Here is an article from Bestselling author, Professional Speaker, TV personality, Corporate spokesperson, Interfaith minister, and TedX Host Laura Berman Fortgang, (via the Huff Post) entitled “The Top 10 Ways to Discover Your Unique Gift”. Discover yours this season!

Headstrong Nation Mission Statement - Headstrong Nation is a movement dedicated to a radical new approach to dyslexia. We empower adult dyslexics to own their dyslexia, to understand it, and to develop new ways of learning and working based on their individual profiles.

We would like to invite you to donate to Headstrong Nation as we need your support to help us to fulfill our mission for the adult dyslexic. Please consider donating to Headstrong Nation HERE. Please like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter . Thank you very much! - The Headstrong Nation Team

Photo of Nelson Lauver, Author

I’d like to Apologize to All Dyslexics

I received a diagnosis of dyslexia at the ripe old age of 29.

Since that time, and very innocently I might add, I have said some really dumb things about dyslexia. Disclaimer: In my defense, these are things I've said out of pure ignorance and a steady diet of misinformation.

I See Things Backward.

Shorty after being diagnosed I confided in a teacher-friend that I was, in fact, dyslexic.

"Oh, that's no big deal. It just means that you see things backwards," she said.

"I DO?"

"Sure, you just don't realize it because you always have and at this point in your life it seems normal to you," she replied.

I started walking around her kitchen touching things: a fork, cabinet door and items in her refrigerator.

I was trying to catch myself seeing things backwards. But according to my teacher-friend, my nearly 30-year-old brain was so accustomed to seeing things backwards that it "was set in stone and I'd never be able to change it."

No Pictures in My Head.

At about the same time, I saw a psychologist on a weekly basis who was trying to get my head screwed back on straight. I was a very angry young man presenting with a second-grade reading and writing level.

He told me that the cause of my dyslexia was that I can't see pictures in my head like normal people.

"OK, let's do an exercise," he said.

"I want you to close your eyes and picture the house you grew up in. Can you see it, Nelson?"

"Well, I think so. It's stone and has a red roof and white window panes ..."

He interrupted me. "But can you see it like a movie playing in a theater? Can you see it as clearly on the back of your eyelids as if you were looking at the big screen."

"Well, yes, no, sort of, probably not, but I think I can see it! Wait! Yes! No, I guess not?" I told him.

"That is the problem; you have no visual memory. You depend on your inner voice as your memory," he explained.

He went on to tell me, "You can't spell because you can't see the word you want to spell."

I left the shrink's office that day and spent the next several years explaining dyslexia to family and close friends as "viewing everything backwards, even though I can't tell it's backwards. Also, I don't have the ability to see pictures in my head like normal people, and that's why I can’t read well and spell, and stuff like that."

Later I would come to discover that most dyslexics don't view the world backward. I also learned that I not only see pictures in my head but, like many dyslexics, I think in pictures. As far as having a movie projector in my brain shooting cinematic pictures on to the back of eyelids, I've yet to find ANYONE with such a gift.

Of course, I learned this only after I was a party to the further distribution of this misinformation.

But Wait, There's More!

As I look back, it all makes me feel so silly, but in the immortal words of Ron Popeil, American inventor and television personality, "WAIT, THERE'S MORE!"

For so long I wanted to be normal. I lamented the fact that I had the dubious distinction of graduating dead last in East Juniata High School's class of 1981. I was upset that I didn't go to college and law school. I was angry that I wasn't the big, powerful attorney on the back cover of the Yellow Pages book.

I went looking for a "cure." I confided in friends and family that I felt "broken" and I wanted to be "fixed."

I laugh now because I finally realize that I'm not broken, and I don't need to be fixed. Sure, there are lots of tools I use to compensate for dyslexia but all kinds of craftsmen use tools in their jobs, right?

Finding the Gifts.

I have found the gifts that come with being dyslexic and it is such a pleasure to have them. (I elaborated on these gifts in my blog at www.nelsonsbook.com.) Life is OK these days. I had extensive literacy tutoring in my 30s and that helped a lot. I'm in my early 50s now. I'm married, and my wife is great at spelling (not the only reason I married her). Oh, and I'm a professional writer with a book on the New York Times Best Sellers List. OK, OK, I am an author but the part about my book being a best seller isn't true. I just wanted to see what that looks like in print. It looks GREAT!

On the road to understanding, I've had a few fender-benders and for that I am very sorry.

Nelson Lauver is the host of the American Storyteller Radio Journal and author of the award-winning memoir “Most Unlikely To Succeed.” He is also a keynote speaker, humorist, syndicated broadcaster, strategist, entrepreneur, voice-over artist, co-founder of the Jane and Nelson Lauver Foundation and director of ProblemTank, a neurodiverse think tank.



Thank you very much Nelson for guest blogging for us!

Headstrong Nation Mission Statement:

Headstrong Nation is a movement dedicated to a radical new approach to dyslexia. We empower adult dyslexics to own their dyslexia, to understand it, and to develop new ways of learning and working based on their individual profiles.

Please follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. If you would like to help us to fulfill our mission, please consider donating to Headstrong Nation HERE - Thank You! ~ The Headstrong Nation Team

photo of Headstrong Nation Board Chair Larry Banks


To our partners in the space,

Hello. My name is Larry Banks, I am the new Board Chair of Headstrong Nation. Some of you know me, but I'm sure that most of you have heard of Headstrong Nation. For the past 10 years this organization has sought out dyslexic leaders from all walks of life. We've given retreats to discuss the issues that face us as adult dyslexics and to determine more deeply how we can be of service to our community while attempting to deepen the commitment of adult dyslexics to dyslexia in adults. As I'm sure you're well aware, most of the organizations and groups within the dyslexic community are oriented towards children, parents, research and early childhood education. We are looking at the situation from a different vantage point. We are excited and deeply moved by the programs that are going on for our children and for the effort and the programs that are being developed in education. But we believe that is equally important to remember that dyslexic children grow up to be dyslexic adults and for us that struggle is cyclical. We go through it as children, we find ways of managing our challenges in developing our talents as adults, and then we are tossed back into it when our own children enter the educational system. We have just reached the point where most of us realize that dyslexia is genetic and if we are identified dyslexics most of our children will be as well.

As identified dyslexic adults, have we looked at our own profiles deeply, both dyslexic and psychological? Have we cleared the shame, disappointments and fear from our own nature before we begin to raise children? Are we sure that we will not unwittingly, do to our children what was done to us? Disclosure, sharing and self- examination must begin with family, community and acceptance of self. If you are over 50, the first time you stand in a room full of adult dyslexics or children with attention and learning issues, and sayI am Dyslexic”, the rush of emotions can be overwhelming, (it was for me), but it is also quite healing. If you have never had that experience your child has probably missed out on it too. Adults matter. If we want to prevent the destructive cycle from reoccurring. Adults matter, because it is adults that will reshape the world in which we live. Adults matter, because we are the nurturing ground of the future and all that will happen will come through us.

I am reaching out to every single one of you and I am asking you to join Headstrong Nation and help us to support you. In the words of Gandhi, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.” Stand for your children by standing for yourself, advocate for your children by advocating for yourself, help your children know you by knowing yourself.

We are a young organization and we have a new mission. When we say dyslexic we do not mean to be discriminatory. We are reaching out to adults with learning and attention issues that come from this unique neurological profile. All are welcome. In fact, all are needed. Your membership is important because your membership fee will sponsor our website and programs. We also invite you, your skills, knowledge and talents to participate with us and become an active member. Join together by joining with us as we develop Employment Prep programs for college, employment programs post high school, webinars, workshops, leadership retreats and mentoring. Knowing that you are not on this journey alone and that we will be with you as a community for the rest of your life.

Please join Headstrong Nation and help sponsor an organization of dyslexics for dyslexics and funded by dyslexics, and internationally known for its adult dyslexics. Donate here - https://www.razoo.com/us/story/Headstrong-Nation

Thank you,

Larry


join here button

photo of Headstrong Nation Board Chair Larry Banks

To our partners in the space,

Hello. My name is Larry Banks, I am the new Board Chair of Headstrong Nation. Some of you know me, but I'm sure that most of you have heard of Headstrong Nation. For the past ten years, this organization has sought out dyslexic leaders from all walks of life. We've given retreats to discuss the issues that face us as adult dyslexics and to determine more deeply how we can be of service to our community while attempting to deepen the commitment of adult dyslexics to dyslexia in adults. As I'm sure you're well aware, most of the organizations and groups within the dyslexic community are oriented towards children, parents, research and early childhood education. We are looking at the situation from a different vantage point. We are excited and deeply moved by the programs that are going on for our children and for the effort and the programs that are being developed in education. But we believe that is equally important to remember that dyslexic children grow up to be dyslexic adults and for us that struggle is cyclical. We go through it as children, we find ways of managing our challenges in developing our talents as adults, then we are tossed back into it when our own children enter the educational system. We have just reached the point where most of us realize that dyslexia is genetic and if we are identified dyslexics most of our children will be as well.

As identified dyslexic adults, have we looked at our own profiles deeply, both dyslexic and psychological? Have we cleared the shame, disappointments and fear from our own nature before we begin to raise children? Are we sure that we will not unwittingly, do to our children what was done to us? Disclosure, sharing and self- examination must begin with family, community and acceptance of self. If you are over 50, the first time you stand in a room full of adult dyslexics or children with attention and learning issues, and say,I am Dyslexic”, the rush of emotions can be overwhelming (it was for me), but it is also quite healing. If you have never had that experience your child has probably missed out on it too. Adults matter. If we want to prevent the destructive cycle from reoccurring. Adults matter, because it is adults that will reshape the world in which we live. Adults matter, because we are the nurturing ground of the future and all that will happen will come through us.

I am reaching out to every single one of you and I am asking you tojoin Headstrong Nation and help us to support you. In the words of Gandhi, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.” Stand for your children by standing for yourself, advocate for your children by advocating for yourself, help your children know you by knowing yourself. We are a young organization and we have a new mission. When we say dyslexic we do not mean to be discriminatory.

We are reaching out to adults with learning and attention issues that come from this unique neurological profile. All are welcome. In fact, all are needed. Your membership is important because your membership fee will sponsor our website and programs. We also invite you, your skills, knowledge and talents to participate with us and become an active member. Join together by joining with us as we develop Employment Prep programs for college, employment programs post high school, webinars, workshops, leadership retreats and mentoring. Knowing that you are not on this journey alone and that we will be with you as a community for the rest of your life.

Please Donate to Headstrong Nation and help sponsor an organization of dyslexics for dyslexics and funded by dyslexics, and internationally known for its adult dyslexics.

Thank you very much,

Larry

Headstrong Nation banner graphic for membership sign up

Dear friends of Headstrong Nation,

For far too long, we, as adult dyslexics, have let others set our agenda. We believe that to create real change we need to unite and create an organization that is run by dyslexics, for dyslexics, and funded by dyslexics.

On November 9th, we re-image Headstrong Nation as a member driven organization. Today we need you to sign up & express your interest in joining when we launch. This will allow us to secure critical funding to cover operational overheads to re-launch Headstrong Nation.

Sign up at this link: www.headstrongnation.org/weownitsignup (NOTE: 4/29/16 - Campaign has ended)

Please consider donating to Headstrong Nation to help us to fulfill our mission for the adult dyslexic. Donate at our RAZOO PAGE HERE: https://www.razoo.com/us/story/Headstrong-Nation

Please spread the message on social media that you have signed up and use the tag #WeOwnIt.

Thank you very much!


Headstrong is a California Nonprofit Public Benefit Corporation, and is tax exempt under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code. Federal Tax ID 47-0925290.

Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel - Thanks, The Headstrong Nation Team

Headstrong Nation banner followed by Headstrong Nation membership campaign #we own it  by dyslexics for dyslexics funded by dyslexics Nov9 we need your support and help are you in? www.headstrongnation.org/membership

Headstrong Nation Membership Campaign

You may be asking yourself, what does #WeOwnIt mean, and how does this relate to my dyslexia and to Headstrong Nation? Headstrong Nation will begin a new membership campaign on November 9th. What this means for our organization and for you, is that we are ready to move forward with our revised mission, which is stated below.

Headstrong Nation is a movement dedicated to a radical new approach to dyslexia. We empower adult dyslexics to own their dyslexia, to understand it, and to develop new ways of learning and working based on their individual profiles. (June, 2015)

On November 9th, Headstrong Nation is an organization which is designed for adult dyslexics, by adult dyslexics. In other words, #WeOwnIt.

We would like you to have a voice in the evolution of Headstrong Nation, to take your seat at the table, and we need your help financially so we may begin to fulfill our mission.

What does it mean to “own” your dyslexia? To own your dyslexia means you understand your individual dyslexic profile. Each dyslexic is unique, although we typically share a common struggle with text in many forms. To own your dyslexia means you won’t let yourself be limited by text or other barriers which hold you back from success. You won’t let yourself be described solely by what you struggle with, because you are so much more than your struggles.

To own your dyslexia means you have made a fair and thorough assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. You maintain a teachable attitude and you are always working on ways to learn and work more efficiently. To own your dyslexia means you embrace the wide range of assistive technologies available to you, and you’ve begun to create a tool box of helpful apps and products which will help you on a daily basis.

You understand that to truly thrive, you must find out what works for you as an individual. You will not let yourself be merely defined by what you cannot do, but will explore what is actually possible for you. To own your dyslexia means that you understand the value of asking for help when needed. You know how to honestly self-advocate and you spread awareness about your dyslexic profile to those you feel comfortable with to help enable them to understand the varied strengths and challenges associated with it.

You desire to be part of a community of other adults who will understand you, who will lift you up, and who will embrace you on your journey.

We want you to join us at the table as a voice for positive change for the adult dyslexic, so we may explore together what is possible for us in learning, work, and life.

Please join us as a member of Headstrong Nation. We'd love it if you could tell you family and friends about us too and ask for their help! We thank you for considering our invitation, and we’d appreciate your financial support during our first official membership campaign which will enable us to more effectively address the needs of the adult dyslexic. Spread the word using the hashtag #WeOwnIt.

Become a member of Headstrong Nation! We invite you to be a voice in your future! – Join Now NOTE: 4/29/2016- Our formal membership campaign has ended, but you may donate to support our work at https://www.razoo.com/us/story/Headstrong-Nation

Thank you very much! The Headstrong Nation Team

Photo of Headstrong Nation Board and Staff

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Visit our YouTube Channel.

photo of document from US Dept.of Education Assistant Secretary of ED

The Assistant Secretary of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services, United States Department of Education, Michael K. Yudin released a letter today to clarify that there is nothing in the IDEA (The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) that would prohibit the use of the terms dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia in IDEA evaluation, eligibility determinations, or IEP documents, despite the communications from stakeholders, including parents, advocacy groups, and national disability organizations, who believe that State and local educational agencies (SEAs and LEAs) are reluctant to reference or use dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia in evaluations, eligibility determinations, or in the development of the individualized education program (IEP) under the IDEA.

In the letter, Mr. Yudin states that the Office of Special Ed, Rehabilitative Services (OSERS) encourages State Education Agencies and Local Education Agencies (SEA's and LEA's) to consider situations where it would be appropriate to use the terms dyslexia, dyscalculia, or dysgraphia to describe and address the child’s unique, identified needs through evaluation, eligibility, and IEP documents. OSERS further encourages States to review their policies, procedures, and practices to ensure that they do not prohibit the use of the terms dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia in evaluations, eligibility, and IEP documents. Finally, in ensuring the provision of free appropriate public education (FAPE), OSERS encourages SEAs to remind their LEAs of the importance of addressing the unique educational needs of children with specific learning disabilities resulting from dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia during IEP Team meetings and other meetings with parents under IDEA.

#SayDyslexia! A step in the right direction. Voices were heard. Good news for many and a document to refer to and share with your child’s school, family and friends. Congratulations to the grassroots movement Decoding Dyslexia and the many other disability organizations and advocacy groups who got involved on a legislative level to spread awareness on the need to use the word and address dyslexia in the schools. Positive change can occur one person at a time, one word at a time. Spread dyslexia awareness today!

To view the PDF letter in its entirety, click HERE.

Any questions?

Contact us at our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/headstrongnation. We're not experts, but we’ll do what we can to point you to resources and to answer any questions that you may have. You may also follow us on Twitter, https://twitter.com/headstrongnatio and on Pinterest.

Headstrong Nation is a movement dedicated to a radical new approach to dyslexia. We empower adult dyslexics to own their dyslexia, understand it, and develop new ways of learning and working based on their individual profiles. If you'd like to help support us in fulfilling our mission for the adult dyslexic, please consider donating to Headstrong Nation by clicking on the DONATE BUTTON at the top of the page. Thank you! - The Headstrong Nation Team

Headstrong is a California Nonprofit Public Benefit Corporation, and is tax exempt under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code. Federal Tax ID 47-0925290.

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