self-esteem

Photo of crocus in garden


Are you flourishing?

What does it mean to flourish? Dictionary.com defines flourishing as growing vigorously and thriving. The origin of the word flourish dates back to 1250-1300 from the Middle English florisshen, and Middle French floriss meaning long stem, the Latin florere, to bloom, which is a derivative of the word flos, meaning flower.

In order for a flower to bloom, it needs a favorable environment in which to grow. This is also true for any human, animal, or other living organism.

Are you flourishing in your life? Are you experiencing good health, happiness, and success? Do you have what you need to really thrive?

Just as plants, animals and other living things need nourishment to support their growth, humans also need nourishment and the exposure to the right types of environments to support their continued growth.

As adults with dyslexia and other types of learning issues, it helps if we are aware of the areas in our emotional lives in which we are feeling depleted, those areas which need to be recharged.

Our past struggles in school, work and life may have sapped us of our energy, and in turn, influenced the way we currently see ourselves in the world. The negative experiences of the past may affect our present level of self-esteem, our motivation, and our desire to keep moving forward. Negative self-talk narrows our view of what is possible for us in our lives, and it keeps us stuck. Some individuals choose to give up before they’ve even gotten started.

Nourishment is not just about food and nutrition for our bodies. It's not just food that we need to survive and thrive. Psychological and spiritual nourishment are equally important for our continued health, growth, personal well-being, and happiness.

Making the shift – The Importance of Self-Exploration, Small Changes, and Positive Connection

How can we begin to make some changes in our environments and in ourselves to encourage our positive growth?

First, It’s important to know where you are at in your journey, before you decide where you would like to go next. Taking the time to get in touch with yourself, your emotions, and your current situation will help you to decide what you want out of your life, and also help you to evaluate what changes you may need to make along the way as you travel.

Are you experiencing unhappiness in work, school or relationships? Are you feeling out of sync? Are you unable to reach your full potential? Is something missing? Have you been isolating and keeping things inside? If you could change one aspect of your environment which you feel is inhibiting your ability to flourish, what would this be? Would this change be situational or would this be one that needs to occur inside of you?

If you are dissatisfied with an area of your life, whether it be at work, at school or at home, consider making some small changes and mind shifts to disrupt your status quo. One way you can improve your satisfaction is by being open to, and seeking out others in work or school environments who seem to be supportive, interested in, and understanding of you.

If you feel that you can trust other people, you are more likely to make a connection with them.

If you have disclosed your dyslexia or other learning disability to co-workers or to your employer, take some time to reach out to them to strengthen your connection so they can get to know you better.

If you are in college, reach out to classmates, and consider joining activities and clubs to meet others. If you feel comfortable sharing about your dyslexia, then do so. If you’ve declared your disability to the college Office of Disability service, consider asking how you might start your own campus dyslexia/LD group at your university as a way to meet others, to give and get support and make positive connections.

If you follow social media, there are a number of groups for dyslexic adults and others with LD on Facebook in which you can find understanding and support. Some are closed groups and others are public pages like the Headstrong Nation Facebook Page . These online pages and forums are generally dyslexia/ LD friendly, inclusive places where differences are embraced and whose members are supportive. Typing “Dyslexia” into a Facebook search will yield a number of results to choose from.

Are you in a job that you once enjoyed but the enthusiasm for it has waned? Are you feeling stuck and unable to switch careers? Do you want things to be better for you on a daily basis? Do you desire more variety in your work? Do you feel valued? If you don’t speak up, no one will know what you need.

If your employer seems approachable, request a meeting to discuss whether you could branch out in your current position in a way that takes advantage of your specific skill-sets and passions. You might also ask your employer if he would be open to providing you with some additional training, specific software or productivity tools which may help you to be more efficient and less stressed in the workplace. Asking your HR manager at work about the ability to obtain productivity tools may help too.

Are you able to clearly articulate the skills and values that you bring to your job? What are you proud of? What are your signature strengths? Those who are doing what they love and getting compensated for it are very fortunate. Making small changes and adopting a “Take this job and love it” attitude may help you to get through some rough days in the workplace and may also help you to view your job through a new lens. If you cannot find any positives in your work environment and you wake up each morning dreading your job, perhaps it’s time to consider why you continue to stay and what might be preventing you from moving on"

How is your life outside of work or school? What do you look forward to in your off time? Do you have any hobbies or leisure pursuits you enjoy? Do you have support from family and friends?

Do you have any goals for the future? Would you describe yourself as generally happy?

In the Happyologist Happiness blog by Suzanne Halonen, Halonen lists three ways that an individual can flourish, based on research from The Happiness Institute -

"Top 3 ways to flourish in life:

  • Be yourself. Accept who you are and be proud of it. You’re at your best when you are yourself. There’s always ways for you to improve yourself and be the “best you” you can be. But it’s got to start with accepting who you are and understanding what’s important to you.

  • Believe in yourself. You can do it if you choose to believe in yourself. You have all the power you need to achieve whatever you want in life. It’s going to be a bumpy road but that’s a part of the fun. Go for it.

  • Choose to be happy. Yes, you can choose. You are in control of your own happiness so choose to act on it. Cherish each moment of joy as it comes along. And you can always look at identifying the good parts of unhappy moments. Though challenging, they all have them hidden in there somewhere."

Positive Psychology and Flourishing

Dr. Barbara L. Fredrickson is an author, and researcher in the area of Positive Psychology, who developed a theory on positive emotions entitled the Broaden and Build Theory. Fredrickson’s research involves the study of positive emotions and how the practical application of Positive Psychology can help individuals live full and meaningful lives. By increasing the amount of positive moments in one’s life, the individual can begin to create an optimal emotional environment for continued growth and happiness.

Frederickson and her team at the Pep Lab study the effects of positive emotions on individuals’ thoughts, behaviors and physiological well-being. One of the goals of her ongoing research is to understand how positive emotions may accumulate or broaden in individuals and subsequently build to change their lives for the better.

Negative emotions narrow our focus and cause our minds to be fixed which prevents our ability to be open to new experiences, ideas, and people. They stunt our growth.

Positive emotions help us to be more open to new experiences, ideas and people, and to what is possible for us. They help us to flourish.

In Fredrickson’s Coursera course Positive Psychology – The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Frederickson uses the imagery of the Water Lily to explain her theories. “Just as Water Lilies retract when sunlight fades, so do our minds when positivity fades.”

She uses another analogy on how plants flourish to describe what we humans also need in our lives to flourish. Like sunlight, positive emotions are beneficial to us. Plants need sunlight, as it is necessary for them to live. Plants know this and therefore turn towards the light so that they may soak up all they can. This is called the heliotropic effect. Frederickson believes that humans have a similar heliotropic effect where positive emotions represent the “sunlight” which is crucial for the life and ultimate survival of humans.

According to Fredrickson, it takes three positive emotional experiences to cancel out a negative one. These positive experiences don’t need to be “over the top” ones, as different degrees and types of positive emotional experiences may serve to build our positivity resources.

If you are an adult with dyslexia and LD who has experienced great negativity and setbacks throughout your life, you may be operating at a deficit, with your positive resources depleted. Consider reflecting on how you perceive life in general, and how you react to the environment and others around you. Are you able to see the positive in situations, to let yourself relax and experience periods of joy in an otherwise hectic day? How connected are you to others? In what ways can you begin to broaden and build these “micro-moments” of positivity resonance into your daily life? Barbara Fredrickson’s course can help you to discover the value of connection in relationships, of being other-focused, and how applying the principals of positive psychology on a daily basis can make a difference in your ability to flourish.

Positive Psychology concentrates on what is possible for us. It helps us to focus on our strengths and our ability to experience happiness and growth through positive connection with others. It encourages us to engage with and stay open to those micro-moments of positivity in our daily lives, so that we may become the best versions of ourselves.

Stay open, and reach toward the sun! Go ahead, flourish!

To read more on the value of positive emotions, read Dr. Fredrickson’s article HERE, visit the PEP lab website Here, or consider enrolling in her Coursera video course, HERE. Enrollment for this session ends on March 19, 2016.

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Marie Fostino Facebook profile photo dressed in purple with feather  band in her hair


Early Years

I found school to be very hard. I didn’t get good grades. I would read the work that was given to me, but not really understand what I was reading. When I was in high school my grades were C’s and D’s. I would try so hard to study and memorize but it was a waste of time, I would not remember. In fact, it took me three times taking my history class before I passed it. Of course it didn’t help that I was not interested in that class at the time. But you can’t pass high school without history class. Doing so made me miss my graduation. I passed high school in summer school of my last year. And being the oldest of my siblings I really embarrassed my mother. She never saw me graduate. When I got married she told my husband-to-be that I was “special” and to have patience with me, meaning I was sort of stupid or semi-retarded or something.

Higher Education with a Desire to Help Others

I became a beautician and had a talent for fixing hair. My only problem was charging people. I didn’t have the heart to charge like everyone else so I was pretty cheap. I lived in Norman, Oklahoma when the when the Oklahoma City bombing happened. I drove to the site to help the wounded but was turned away from the National Guard since I didn’t have any credentials proving I was in the medical field. I cried so hard. It was then I had the idea that I needed to go back to school. I initially fought the idea. I remember how hard school was and told myself I would never go back to school again.


Marie Fostino Paramedic Class Group Shot of Marie and Classmates


I really think God was calling me to go back and I fought with this idea for a few weeks before I finally gave in. I chose to study to become a Paramedic. When I was in my EMT class and took one of my tests, I questioned the teacher as to why she was asking questions about “police” on our tests. She had me read the questions to her and then corrected me that the word was “policies”, not police. She asked me if I was dyslexic. I had no idea what she was talking about. Well it happened to be, that she was dyslexic and she saw the signs in me that she once had. She made an appointment for me to see her doctor.


When I found out I was dyslexic, they had me read with many overlays until I found one that would calm my mind. That was really all that happened. They may have told me that I needed to see another doctor, but, if they did, I didn’t pursue it anymore. I already knew I had trouble learning, and I had five children at home which I was responsible for, and I was working at the beauty shop, had a husband, and I didn’t have any more time in the day for anything else nor the money to put down.

NOTE: In a literature study of the efficacy of colored overlays in the dyslexic, authors Arcangelo Uccula, Mauro Enna, and Claudio Mulatti, found that the use of colored overlays as a remedy for difficulties in reading experienced by the dyslexic individuals as controversial - http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00833/, and that American Academy of Pediatrics has claimed that there is not empirical evidence toward the efficacy of colored overlays in reading, reading acquisition, or dyslexia, and did not recommend their use. However, this is what Marie used as a tool so we share this within the context of her story. - HSN


Marie Fostino with Diploma

“I lived so many years thinking I was stupid.”

I lived so many years thinking I was stupid, so I decided that I had to find a way to help me learn. So when I went to paramedic school, I actually lived at Denny’s Restaurant. For that year or a little longer, I went to work and school and studied. I missed my kids, because I was not home, but I already knew how hard it was for me to learn and I had to just concentrate. I would read, and write down what I read, and highlighted what I was reading and then I would make myself tests to take. You have no idea how many hours I spent trying to learn all the information. When we finished and was supposed to graduate, my teacher had me stay after by myself and he had me go through many scenarios, and what I would do for the patient, before he would pass me. When I took my National Registry Test, and I walked in with my green overlay, the inspectors all took turns looking at my green overlay to make sure I wasn’t cheating.

I know that I need a light green overlay to help me read, settle down my mind and keep the words from moving so I can understand what I am reading. I was astonished to find out that I actually had a learning difference and I wasn’t just stupid or special like my mom would say.


Marie Fostino standing in front of Ambulance


Dyslexia on the Job

I became a paramedic and the dyslexia really didn’t bother me since I was doing hands-on skills. My partner did the driving, and I was responsible for patient care. However, when I changed jobs and was required to work on a computer looking at social security cards and entering these numbers in the computer, I found I had trouble. After I mixed up a couple of numbers a few times my boss put me on a performance improvement plan and I was not allowed to work on the computer. I became scared because I had looked at these numbers at least three times and didn’t notice that I had mixed them up. I felt like I was experiencing dementia or Alzheimer’s. My boss told me I had to get a medical evaluation/diagnosis for my dyslexia. The hard part about this was that the doctors I was looking for, worked with children, not a 61year-old woman.


Marie Fostino with Grand kids in ambulance


I found that I had to leave that job and stay away from working with a computer for work. To work for a company where I can mess things up because of mixing up numbers or letters, that kind of job is not for me. I found a new job. I am now working at a behavioral center with adults that have drug and alcohol problems. I can use my paramedic skills as I triage these people, and help them get the treatment they need, whether it is letting them sit while they are coming down from the liquor or drugs, or having them go into the back for treatment with our nurses or calling 911. I became a paramedic to help people so even though I am not on an ambulance now I feel like I am still helping people.

Marie Fostino in standing by her ambulance holding the first book she wrote Marie Fostino with Family group shot Thanksgiving 2014


I also write books and have an editor that catches my mistakes. At the age of 61, I feel like I have learned to live with my learning disability and I am not going to go for any more testing. It would be a good thing for the young to get tested and help for this disability, but it won’t do anything to help me now. Hobbies, Passions, and Strengths My kids and grandkids are my life. For the longest time my hobby was photography. I entered many contests and won or placed in few. The last few years I have been writing books. It is not the easiest but I enjoy it. When I would look at my work, I think, boy did I do a great job. But then I would give it to my editor and when I got it back to make corrections, I would be amazed at how much I mixed up.

Feel free to check out my books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I’m on Facebook too.


Many thanks to Marie for sharing her story with us!


Uccula A, Enna M and Mulatti C (2014) Colors, colored overlays, and reading skills. Front. Psychol. 5:833. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00833 -http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00833/full

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images of hearts with the text take care of you

Take care of YOU - Self-Care for Those with Dyslexia/LD and for Those who love them

Self-care is important for individuals with dyslexia/LD and also for those who love them.

Taking the time to care for ourselves on a daily basis is a good investment in keeping healthy both physically and emotionally. One of the best ways we can do this is through reducing and learning how to more effectively manage the stress in our lives. Many of us with dyslexia/LD and those of us with loved ones with dyslexia/LD are not immune to the negative effects of stress in daily life. The continuous effects of negative stress can affect both our physical and emotional wellbeing. Therefore, it is important to exercise good self-care so we can be the best for ourselves and for those who love and depend upon us.

So how can we begin to reduce the level of stress in our lives? When it comes to managing stress, even small changes can yield big results and make a big difference in our outlook on life.


Some stress is positive but too much can be very draining. Positive stress, or eustress, is considered good stress. It is the stress that motivates us, and keeps us going to get things done in our lives. If we feel the effects of too much stress in our lives, however, we may feel out of balance, overwhelmed, and have difficulty managing.

Too much stress may produce physical symptoms. You may feel fatigued from working at your max on the job or preparing for the next IEP meeting, and may experience headaches, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing and muscle tension. You may feel run down and prone to frequent colds and other ailments due to the effects of prolonged stress on your immune system.


Everyone handles stress differently. Some of us are able to let it run off our backs, to distract ourselves, work through it, and let it go, and some of us internalize this stress and bring it home with us. Perhaps we have difficulty sleeping at night. How do you handle the stress in your life?


Stress has an impact on your ability to function effectively in your personal and work relationships. You may be feeling a lack of support from your employer or from those you love. You may feel frustrated with yourself. You may find yourself making more mistakes on the job and feel overloaded and anxious about your abilities. You might experience anxiety or panic over work deadlines and your ability to meet them. You may feel disorganized and not able to “get it together” yet afraid to speak up and advocate for yourself.


You may experience a whole realm of emotions due to the stressors in your life. You may feel frustrated with yourself. You may feel lonely over not being understood. You may try to repress your feelings and keep them inside, or you may feel anger towards yourself and others and may lash out. You may feel guilty about lashing out at others and then experience feelings of self-loathing, sadness, and depression.


Are you unemployed and having difficulty initiating the job search because you feel defeated and overwhelmed with the process before you’ve even taken the first step to begin? You may ruminate and worry about your finances and the future. Are you really hard on yourself? Do you feel like you have more negatives than positives in your life? Does any of this resonate with you?


Some of the ineffective ways in which many people react to this accumulated stress is by self-soothing through binge eating or undereating, overworking, substance use or by shutting down, which may begin a vicious cycle of ineffective coping, poor physical health and self-loathing. A person may also become isolative, avoidant and afraid to share what’s going on inside them.

Are you interested in living a more full and meaningful life? Learn how to apply the science of Positive Psychology in your life through Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson's Positive Psychology course offered through Coursera (The course is free unless you'd like to pay a fee for a verified certificate): https://www.coursera.org/learn/positive-psychology


It makes good sense to take care of your physical and emotional needs so that you can build up your reserves to be your best self. Here are some additional suggestions on how you can begin to care for yourself. Deciding to start somewhere, through making healthier choices, will make a difference in your ability to deal with the negative effects of stress in your life.

Medical/Physical – If you have not done so this year, make sure to schedule your regular medical, dental, vision and other checkups including routine laboratory tests by age. Your doctor won’t come looking for your so it’s up to you to take the initiative and to communicate any concerns you may have about your health to obtain any needed care and support.

Emotional – If you are experiencing stress as a result of your dyslexia/LD, narrow down the causes. Are they work related? Are you comfortable speaking to your boss about this? Could it be time for a tweaking or change in accommodations you may be receiving in the workplace? Have you tried any new ways to improve your situation? Here is a good list on types of workplace accommodation from LDA: http://ldaamerica.org/job-accommodation-ideas-for-people-with-learning-disabilities/ . By openly speaking to your employer about your needs and concerns, you have the ability to work together by discussing ways to tackle any difficulties you might be having on the job. Read this informative booklet by Ask JAN (Job Accommodation Network), on how to request and re-negotiate accommodations with your employer: https://askjan.org/Eeguide/EeGuide.pdf

Is your stress relational? Are you feeling undo pressure or criticism on the job? Would you prefer to speak to someone impartial before going to your boss? Is there tension at home? Perhaps you might benefit from taking advantage of the counseling benefits of your EAP (Employee Assistance Program), with a professional who is familiar with helping those with learning disabilities. If your company doesn’t have an EAP, you might consider obtaining a private list of counselors/psychologists from your insurance company who can direct you to a provider who has experience working with adults on stress management and relationships, with an understanding of those living with dyslexia/LD.

Diet - How is your diet? What are you eating and what is eating you? Sometimes stress may cause some people to eat for emotional reasons by binge eating or not eating at all. This may be also true of the Individual with Dyslexia/LD. Discussing your feelings surrounding your LD with a counselor might be helpful as he may suggest more effective coping techniques. Consulting with your physician or a nutritionist is a good idea too. Eating a variety of healthy foods in moderation and limiting your caffeine intake may also help you to feel calmer.


Exercise and Relaxation - In addition to keeping our bodies in shape, an exercise program may help to clear our minds and decrease our levels of stress. Exercise helps to increasing our endorphin and energy levels contributing to our emotional well-being. Including exercise into our daily lives does not have to be complicated. Walking is a low cost and effective way to release stress and strengthen your body. How about trying a Yoga video? Consider signing up for a dance class. Join a gym. Explore Tai-Chi and other types of movement activities. Want to relax? Try guided meditation. Would you like to try some breathing techniques? Try this new breathing app. My Calm Beat: https://www.mybrainsolutions.com/mycalmbeat . Trouble falling asleep? Try this app - Relax Melodies/Sleep and Yoga: http://www.ipnossoft.com/app/relax-melodies/.


Hobbies. At a loss? Think of something you would like to try. Get in touch with your creative side. Take a hands-on class in painting or work with ceramics. Woodworking? DIY projects at home? Getting your hands into something may help you to get out of your head if you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Switching gears and focusing on something totally different and pleasurable can help you to feel refreshed and ready to take on the next day. Like comedy? Visit a comedy club, or just watch funny videos with the family. Let yourself laugh and forget about some of the things that drag you down! Sometimes you just need to walk away from it all and give yourself permission to take a breather. It is often the small and simple things which provide the greatest pleasure.


Learning - Education occurs throughout the life span and is beneficial for your brain and self-esteem. Learning a new task or skill can help you to feel more accomplished and may help to raise your level of self worth. Take the time to explore something new that you’d like to try and avail yourself of the numerous low cost, free and open source courses online. EDx is one free option (unless you choose to pay for an official certificate of completion) - https://www.edx.org, Coursera is another https://www.coursera.org/. Udemy is a paid service - https://www.udemy.com/, but often offers discounts on course offerings. Learning new things helps to stretch your mind. This is a good thing, and as most courses are self-paced, you do not have to feel stressed out about rushing to get them completed.

Connection and Support Network: Your spouse or partner loves you. Your boss may like you, and many of your friends might think you are great, but they may not fully understand the challenges that you experience and what you are going through. This is where getting involved with a network of other adults with dyslexia/LD may provide that certain level of understanding which you desire. Feeling understood, like someone “gets you” for who you are, can make a big difference in your life. Do a Google search for local dyslexia/LD groups in your area for face to face support or consider forming and leading your own if there are none in your area.

Utilizing the many online Dyslexia/LD forums, organizations, Facebook groups and pages is another way to begin to connect with others, to share your thoughts and feelings, and to provide feedback to and feel validated by others. Headstrong Nation’s Facebook Page is a place where we hope you will feel welcomed and supported by other community members with dyslexia/LD: www.facebook.org/headstrongnation.

If you are a parent of a child with dyslexia/LD who needs support, your states local Decoding Dyslexia Chapter FB page or website can provide you with information on how to make contact with other parents: www.decodingdyslexia.net. Another great place to connect with other parents in a chat forum is through Learning Ally’s Parent Chat on FB, which is a closed, moderated chat: https://www.facebook.com/groups/LearningAllyParentChat .


Caring for your physical and emotional health will help you to deal with your stress to keep you at your best. So as you love and care for others, take the time to love and care for yourself too! You are worth it!

Caring for Yourself Heart photo with Headstrong Nation Banner and www.headstrongnation.org/membership

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Dyslexia - Half Full or Half Empty?

Dyslexia... It's all in how you look at it. It's all in how you look at you. What's your perspective as an adult with dyslexia? Is your glass half full or half empty? Do you see limited or unlimited possibilities for yourself? Are you a victim or a victor? What responsibility might you take in improving your situation and changing your destiny, and how might you, as an adult dyslexic, raise awareness as a voice for change for other adult dyslexics?
The choice is yours... You have more power than you know.
photo of trees in fall, beginning to change

Dyslexia Awareness Month

October has been designated as Dyslexia Awareness Month. Many dyslexia organizations and individuals are rallying together and raising their collective voices to create change for the number of children who struggle with dyslexia/LD in public schools. The momemtum builds. Proclamations are announced. T-shirts are donned, screenings are viewed, visits to elected officials are scheduled. Legislation is drafted, walks are held, and bridges are lit up red. There is a flurry of activity and initiatives surrounding our youngest ones, the 1 in 5. The celebration goes on!

So, What About Us? What about the Adult Dyslexic?

For those of us who live with dyslexia or another LD every day, we truly understand the reality that dyslexic children grow into dyslexic adults. We fully appreciate and can relate to the phrase, "Once a dyslexic, always a dyslexic." Depending on where we are in our individual journeys, we may or may not be OK with the word dyslexia. Some of us don't like the label dyslexic, and prefer the word difference. Some prefer to be referred to as neurodiverse. One individual may view their profile as a gift or advantage, another as a disability. On those days when we feel that our challenges seem to outnumber our strengths, we may wish we had never heard of the word dyslexia. We may want to trade in our troubles vs. embrace them, work with them, or work around them. Dyslexia is personal. Some days really stink for the dyslexic, and on those days for those of us who are also parents of children with dyslexia or other learning and attention issues, we get to live some days twice, through seeing how dyslexia plays out in our kids' daily lives as well.

What It Is and What It Isn't

Dyslexia is not something to be overcome or beaten. Nor is dyslexia something to run away from. We get this. Many of us have spent much of our lives attempting to hide our disability from others, living in shame, feeling less than. We also realize that however frustrating the challenges related to our dyslexia might be, our dyslexia is part of the fabric of who we are as individuals. If we choose to embrace our dyslexic identities, to accept the good, the bad and the ugly of our dyslexia, we stand a better chance to live more successful and happier lives. Dyslexia is not something to sugar coat. Dyslexia is neither a gift nor is it a curse. It is a trait. It is a difference which is neurobiological in origin, and it does have it's advantages in addition to it's disadvantages. And, like it or not, it is a disability in some contexts in daily life, in educational systems, and in the world of work. Dyslexia represents the cards which we are dealt. We can't change the cards we are dealt, just how we choose to play our hand. We have some choice in the matter.

"Comparison Is the Death of Joy" - Mark Twain

Comparing oneself to the newest most famous "dyslexic du Jour" in the media may not be all that healthy for the adult dyslexic who is under or unemployed. If might not be beneficial for the high school kid who barely scraped by and has little direction, or for the college student who has four or more years to go in a system where many continue to be ignorant of or to doubt the existence of dyslexia, or of the potential of the person who has it.
Not all dyslexics will be able to achieve the high levels of success of the latest entrepreneur, Nobel Laureate, or blockbuster movie star, and this is OK. Success and satisfaction will look and feel different for each person. It's important to have a starting point, however, to identify individual strengths and attitudes surrounding dyslexia, to set reasonable goals, and to strive to be the best version of yourself, for yourself.

Not All Dyslexics are Self-Aware

Some dyslexics may never know that they are dyslexic. This unidentified and underserved group may go through life never reaching their full potential. This dyslexic may feel perpetually out of place, out of sync, in life and in work, with a gnawing feeling that something is missing, and somehow he'll never be good enough. The issues arising from unidentified and unsupported adult dyslexia are numerous and may have serious consequences. The dyslexic may feel defeated, have a low self-esteem, and may not have that chance to show what he knows in the workplace or educational setting. Unrecognized and unaddressed difficulties on the job or in school for the adult dyslexic may contribute to a loss of employment, dropping out, financial issues, mental health issues and in a worst-case scenario, substance abuse or a life of crime.

What Dyslexia Looks Like in The Adult

Dyslexia may look like this in the adult:
  • The adult dyslexic 16+ may continue to be a slow reader, and will therefore avoid reading tasks in general, reading for pleasure and may hide their struggles.
  • Handwriting may appear messy with many spelling errors.
  • Organizing ideas in the written form may be difficult. Jobs requiring heavy written communication may be difficult and tiring, requiring much time to complete.
  • Directionality, left right, up and down orientation, sense of time, reading from a clock, remembering passwords, and following multi-step directions may be compromised.
  • Time management may be an issue.
  • Anxiety, stress, and feeling overwhelmed on the job or in school is common.
  • The individual may opt for jobs which are lower paying which do not require a high amount of heavy reading, writing, mathematics abilty, or other tasks they find challenging, although the person is of average or above average intelligence, and might be able to master a more complex job if provided the right support.
Photo of tree with leaves changing, many colors, red, yellow, orange

Fall Is A Season Of Change. Working To Become Our Best Dyslexic Selves.

For those of us who are in touch with our dyslexic identities, it is important that we focus on being our best selves. Success is relative, and it is never too late to re-evaluate and make positive change in our own lives to reach new levels of success we hadn't thought possible. Advocating for yourself and asking for help is important. By serving as role models through speaking up about our own challenges and also the strengths associated with dyslexia, we may inspire others to raise their voices too. That's how movements are started. That's how change begins.
For those of us whose geography permits us to view the changing of the leaves in this season of fall, we are treated to a variety of colors. Fall is a great time to reflect on the past, to evaluate the present and to plan for the future. During this month of October, of Dyslexia Awareness, it might be helpful to take some time to do this for ourselves.
In the coming weeks, we'll discuss some thoughts on how to guide your steps to be your best dyslexic self.

Any questions? Contact us at our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/headstrongnation. We're not experts, but we’ll do what we can to point you to resources and to answer any questions that you may have. You may also follow us on Twitter, https://twitter.com/headstrongnatio and on Pinterest.

Headstrong Nation is a movement dedicated to a radical new approach to dyslexia. We empower adult dyslexics to own their dyslexia, understand it, and develop new ways of learning and working based on their individual profiles.

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math test with red F

Failure and the growth mindset - It’s OK to Fail...Really!

I’m my own worst enemy. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to fail. Don’t like to be revealed. It’s like hanging dirty laundry out for others to see. But I fail daily and so often that I now realize that my failures are part of who I am, my individual learning curve. I know that it’s important to accept the fact that I will fail, and to learn from these failures and move forward. If I don’t, the feelings of anxiety and shame associated with my failures, whether large or small, will begin to consume me and erode my self-confidence. These negative feelings and scripts are of no benefit to me, and it’s up to me to meet them head on, and change the messages that I give to myself.

I’ve read many articles on the value of failure as related to learning and growth in an individual. No one likes to fail, but some of us will fail more often than others. Dyslexics often experience their fair share of failures in the classroom, and in the workplace. The types of messages that we give to ourselves after we've failed at a given task will determine our desire to keep going or to quit, These scripts, if negative, will remain with us and will affect how we view ourselves, how we interact with others, and will influence the future goals we set (or do not set) for ourselves. This type of self-talk is limiting.

Why are some dyslexics more successful than others? Might it be that those who are successful see their failures and setbacks as opportunities for change and growth? How about those dyslexics who do not feel they have reached the level of success that they desire? Can these individuals change the messages that they give themselves when they fail, and in turn, experience positive growth and future success?

Let’s also consider the individual who generally performs above average and is constantly given the message by others that he is gifted or smart, academically or otherwise. Do these “positive” messages foster growth in this individual, or might they cause this person to hit a wall when he encounters a problem that he cannot solve? Will he avoid future problems or tasks that he cannot easily solve or complete? Will he only work at a comfortable level, play it safe, and not take any risks that could lead to greater success for himself?

The work of Carol Dweck has helped me to see the value in making mistakes. It’s o.k. to fail. Really! It’s how I will grow. But what I say to myself when I fail is equally important. My “self-talk” affects my motivation and desire to keep moving forward. Carol Dweck, Ph.D is a leading researcher in the field of motivation and a Professor of Psychology at Stanford University. She is the author of the bestselling book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”. Below is a You Tube video of Carol at Talks at Google discussing the growth Mindset:

I was first introduced to Dweck's work while taking a free online MOOC (Massive Open Online Course) through Stanford University taught by Jo Boaler, Ph.D Professor of Mathematics Education at the Stanford Graduate School of Education. As a child and later as an adult, I was one of those people who would describe herself as "Stupid in Math". I felt that I would never be able to master mathematical concepts, and it was by necessity that I explored Boaler’s course “How to Learn Math for Teachers and Adults”. I needed to help my son learn 5th grade Mathematics. I realized I had “hit the wall” with my less than desirable, Subpar math skills and was unable to fully assist him in his daily work. Boaler's course helped me to challenge the stereotypes I had about myself as a woman learning math, and her subsequent course for students helped my young son to learn the value of perservering through tough open ended math problems. Boaler's work involves teaching with a growth mindset in mind. Boaler promotes mathematics education reform in schools and challenges the myths and stereotypes surrounding learning mathematics. You can read more about Jo and her courses here at her site, www.joboaler.com.

So what does it mean to posess a growth mindset? – According to Mindset Works, of which Carol Dweck is co-founder, the growth mindset focuses more on individual improvement and less on worrying how smart one is. The big idea is in understanding that intelligence can be developed with hard work and persistence, that it is not fixed. Students who can foster this mindset in themselves show greater motivation in school, and have better academic outcomes.

We can all learn from our failures, and it is important for all of us to challenge how we view ourselves as learners. As we age, many of us get more rigid in our thinking. Young children can often serve as guides because they are learning and making new mistakes daily. Developing a growth mindset is knowing that learning is not just about producing the right answers all the time. It’s about giving yourself permission to improve constantly, to make the effort, to think outside of the box, to create, innovate, and to stretch your brain and grow.

I often need to catch myself in interactions with my young son, as I begin to tell him the “right” way he should be doing things. In many instances, there are many “right ways” to approach problems. As a parent, it is important for me to get out of his way and let him explore and find his own answers and praise him for the hard work and effort he's making. For myself, it’s equally important to get out of my own way, to keep an open mind and let myself search for new ways to do things. If I fail, instead of making the typical statement, “I can’t do this”, a growth mindset statement would be “I can’t do this….yet.” That’s empowering, and indicates there is always room for improvement with persistence. Tieing praise to effort, hard work and persistence, not to intelligence, is what will ultimately keep us moving us forward.

The bottom line? Let's learn from our failures and let them guide us. Let's confront our fears and go beyond them. Let' get unstuck. Let's try something new. We can all improve and make progress. For example, I'm learning how to write code. I have no experience with it, and would never have entertained the thought to try it before. but I'm taking a chance on myself. I struggle with it daily, but I am making slow improvement and my brain is making new connections I never thought possible. "I can't do it", becomes "I can't do it.... yet."

What’s between our ears can make or break us, and we have the power to change the tape, and change the path, one encouraging word at a time, for ourselves and those whom we love, by working on developing a growth mindset. Failure leaves us open for new opportunities, and new directions.

Read 10 top quotes on failure from one very successful dyslexic entrepreneur, Richard Branson HERE

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